31 Nights of Horror Hatchet

Platform: Amazon Prime

Director: Adam Green

Release Year: 2006

Watch Date: October 8, 2023

My Rating: 4.5

Hm…..where to start with this one? It has an interesting plot….but then again, it’s pretty stereotypical. The disfigured child, Victor Crawley, lives on the New Orleans bayou with his dad. He is relentlessly teased by other kids and sheltered by his father. Many years later, when Victor is adult-sized, some kids set his house on fire while his dad is away. His father comes home and tries to help Victor escape the house by breaking down the door with a hatchet. However, Victor is at the same door trying to get out, and the father strikes Victor in the face with the hatchet.

Fast forward to several years later, Victor’s ghost is apparently on a rampage, brutally killing anyone who comes close to his house. Pan out to hopeless romantic Ben, who is in town with “the Boys” for Mardi Gras. Ben is not enjoying Mardi Gras and wants to go on the Haunted Bayou tour. His friend Marcus decides to go with him.

Other guests on the boat tour are two younger adult ladies and a sketchy much older man filming an episode of “Bayou Beavers” (yes….it is what you think it is), an older couple, Marybeth who seems to be a local, and the tour guide who doesn’t seem very knowledgeable and has a hokey accent. Their boat ends up running aground right in front of the Crawley house.

And so the gruesome murders begin. The older couple are hacked apart, followed by the sleezy guy, the dark-haired beaver, the tour guide, Marcus, the blonde beaver (who happens to be Harmony from Buffy the Vampire Slayer!). Ben and Marybeth (who seem to be falling in love) have thought they killed Victor several times. The movie ends with Ben in a boat with his arm ripped off and Victor using that arm to pull Marybeth out of the water.

The acting is terrible, and the script is bad even though it has some pretty funny lines, but several characters are crazy annoying. Like blonde beaver who is constantly whining and Marcus who complains every thirty seconds. Interestingly, there are three more movies in the series. I won’t be watching them. Nor will I be watching this one again.

Photo Credit: imdb.com